Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dear Wakeboarding...

i think youre nice, but...

-stop trying to strap cameras onto everything.  helmets, poles, your board, your friends, and now poles attached to backpacks.  its lazy and unoriginal.  if thats all you do, you are no longer a "filmer".  riders can strap cameras onto themselves, so we dont need you anymore.

-intros.  we're all aware that everytime you go ride, you have to wake up early, walk down to the dock, put gas in the boat, lower the boat, load gear into the boat, and jump in the water.  this doesnt have to be included in your video.  i will allow some leway for full length videos, but for your 3 minute web video, please spare us.  also, we've all seen trees and weeds before.  theres no need to show us more.

-flat spins on boxes.  if i built a 400 foot long box, im sure 95 percent of riders could spin all the way down it.  it takes little to no skill.  try steezing out a press.  it looks cooler.

-stop trying to be dramatic.  slowing down a frontboard on a rail when you come off early doesnt make you any less of a kook.

-your music taste sucks.  quit using music that sounds like moby threw up all over animal collective.

-there is no such thing as "90 out" on a box or rail.  its called "fakie" or "to regular".  if youre going to tell us you're 90ing out of a slide, why not tell us youre 90ing into a slide?  for example, "frontside 90 in boardslide frontside 90 out".  sounds pretty dumb doesnt it.  you can just say "boardslide to fakie" or maybe "boardslide to switch".

-have fun.  quit taking yourselves so seriously.  im sure most of you are aware that the rest of the action/boardsports community barely knows you exist.  if youre not having fun, nobody is ever going to take you seriously.